Q: I don’t think my husband loves me. He wants nothing to do with our kids, is super demanding, doesn’t give me any freedom while he is always hanging out with friends, and just plays games, watch videos all day, and of course, the X word from me. I feel like a single mom and I’m tired and sick of this.
A: Unfortunately, most marriages are like that. Men in general are just boys. What you have is a teenager and a baby. Yes, you are a single mom. If you see it from that point of view, you’ll be able to get though this.
But if you insist he has to man up and be a father when he is far from ready, you will get a divorce.
You’re not the only mom having to make this decision. A large majority of wives eventually have to choose between accepting the fact that he is a boy in an adult body, or you’re getting a divorce.
No, there is no way to talk him into being a responsible, loving and caring family man aka father. He either is or he isn’t. Can he be one in the future? Yes, when he has grown up. But some boys die old. I hope you understand that that day may never come.
Did you make a wrong decision marrying this man? I don’t think so. Why? Because most men are like that. If you didn’t end up with him, the next one and the next one and the next one will just be the same. There isn’t enough ‘good fathers’ to go around. If you get one, you’re super fortunate. They exist but are extremely rare.
My advice is to play along. Be a single mom. And at least on good days, your kid will have a dad to play with him once in a while, when he is in a good mood. That is better than no dad, and no income. But if you choose divorce just to prove that he is not a man, your baby will lose a dad and a mom as you will have to work and nobody would take care of your baby unless you send him to day care. So the baby loses out.
Divorce him and marry someone else who is more responsible? Fat hope. Keep dreaming. |
