Q: Help, the house is falling apart and I am homeschooling 5 kids. The older kids are not listening and I am still nursing. Nothing gets done.

Our friends are starting to diminish and most of our time is spent on outings while getting errands done. It’s hard to go on homeschooling outings when I have a baby.

A: A few things are unnecessary. Here’s some tips:

1. Skip the homeschooling outings. It doesn’t work with such young kids, especially those not weaned.

2. Skip the friends. It’s hard but don’t fret over it. If they’re there, they’re there and if they’re not, don’t worry, there is a season for friends. Right now, survive.

3. Getting the house in order is a priority. The academics has to wait because we can’t learn with books in a messy environment. Plus, what they really need to learn now is how to organize. Simple life skills.

4. The three older kids have to grow up. A phrase my husband says to my kids, “Who messed up? Did mommy mess up? Then, who?” And they have to learn to clean up their mess. 

5. I hide their favourite toys in a box they are unable to find and they don’t get them back until all their devotion and schoolwork is done. This is usually at the end of the day… sometimes hiding for 2-3 days until I am satisfied with the result. My girls love dolls. So they get the dolls back when they’re done, but they can have one doll when they do something amazing (i.e. make their bed, set the table, help mommy) but every time they screw up, one doll is taken away (I.e. mommy made their bed, daddy set the table instead).

6. Sign them up for classes you can’t teach (if you can afford it), such as piano classes, ballet classes, violin classes. This will give them the social life and friends they need.

7. Outings are important but not that regularly. Choose your outings wisely. One of the main reasons we homeschool is because we want them to be free to learn more than just the academics, and to spend time as a family. Outings are a benefit homeschoolers have, not something we should stay away from. But it is how we make use of it. Try to kill two birds with one stone by making everything educational.

8. Grocery shopping is educational as well but I personally find that very exhausting going out with such a young one. So, online groceries it is for me, which brings me to number 9.

9. I try to get the whole world turning around while I nurse. This is grocery shopping, trying to earn some cash by selling stuff, prepping lessons, my devotion, making appointment, phone calls, etc. Stuff get printed out, instructions given to my kids, etc. which brings me to number 10.

10. Get Google home. I can lay down and nurse and have the world running at my fingertips if each room and living area  is plugged in. You can get Preloved ones off FB Marketplace, and they don’t necessarily need to be screen displays. I use them for intercom, to give instruction to the older kids, etc. and my kids can be contacted via that even when I am not at home. Plus, I can get the lights on, toaster and kettle burning while I nurse.

11. The kids are more independent than you think. If you watch master chef junior, you will realize how capable they can be. My kids have learned to use the air fryer and I have kid friendly instructions for them — open the freezer, grab the spring rolls/ sausages / fish and chips / roti 🫓 and chuck them in the air fryer and turning up the dail to 10 mins. Then, use thongs and mittens to remove items or wait till they cool down — Ask Google for 30 mins timer. Kids can talk to Google.

12. Screen time is a savior but choose videos wisely. I play phonics, numberblocks, Bethel kids, etc. Google display can turn on from any room. Or put them on the TV from any room. Just talk to Google to do it. Especially helpful when you have poop on your hands and a crying baby and a toddler who managed to grab the paint kit, all at the same time. (This suggestion is optional — just skip number 12 if you don’t want screen time.)

13. Kids love doing chores. Just put big cute eyes on the dishwasher, trash cans, washing machine and dryer. Then ask them to feed them every morning and every evening. Rewards come in handy too.

14. Try funschooling, gameschooling, forestschooling and wildschooling fb groups for more unacademic suggestions. Teach a child to enjoy learning and they will teach themselves.

15. Remember that what is important now is your relationship with them. Major on that and everything else will fall into place. Try to keep the peace in the house at all costs.

16. Deal with the most influential person among the kids. The oldest is not necessarily the most influential but usually is. If you can train this one to do what you need her to do and when you need her to do it, the rest will pick up.

17. Your short fuse is due to a lack of sleep. Try to get as much sleep as possible, please. 

I’m not the best at giving advice but I just give what I can.